Your wedding is your own. And in today's society, people have been constantly scouring every book for any way to make their wedding as personal and as unique as possible. One way to do this is to whip up your own wedding vows.
Traditionally, couples to be wed do not have much of a say in what goes into many of the words spoken during the wedding ceremony. Today, it is increasingly getting easier to personalise and influence what is said during the ceremony – within reasonable bounds, though.
If you desire to make your wedding vows unique and personal, you are not alone. Many other couples incorporate feelings, and intimate messages into their wedding vows. It has an added effect of making your wedding more touching, dramatic, and memorable.
Talk with the Officiant Ahead of Time If you would like to personalise your wedding vows, first notify your Officiant to find out the legalities, guidelines and rules in drafting your own wedding vows. He or she will typically give pointers and examples to help you draw up your own vows. Furthermore, the Officiant will inform you of the parts of the vow that are expected to be said.
The Topic It may include promises, such as "I will swear upon my life to do ..." or it may be heartfelt messages for each other, or even hopes for each other plans for the future and such. You may also opt to create a mixture of each to spice up your wedding vows. Although norms vary from culture to culture, as a general rule, the wedding vow should not take too long to recite. Keep it concise yet meaningful. Remember, you will have to recite this, and long recitations tend to make the memory suffer.
Make it Official After creating a draft of the vows you wish to exchange, it would do well to meet up with the Officiant again and show him a draft of your vows. Although in the end, it is ultimately your decision that is followed, do take heed of the Officiant's advice, as it is usually sound and has been honed by experience.
Practice; It is a good idea to practice your vows before the wedding. Although there is no rule against reading vows, a thoroughly practiced, heartfelt rendition of the vow will definitely make a lasting impact on your partner and the people witnessing the ceremony. As mentioned earlier, avoid overly long vows as they tend to be less remembered and are harder to memorize, not to mention quite inconvenient to others. You may do so, however, if you feel the need is justified.
The Performance When reciting your vows during the wedding, always keep calm. People who are tense tend to speak to fast, and since the wedding vow is a very important part of the wedding, you will want to take your time in the spotlight. Loosen up, so that in case you forget a line or two during the exchange of vows, you will at least be able to bounce back with something from your heart. If you desire so, you may also keep a written version of you vows with you. You might want to read it surreptitiously though.